Why did I dislike and avoid networking?

I think the main reason over the years I avoided networking is because I wasn't in a field where I reflected who I am and my values. It was hard to promote myself as a lawyer to get cases that I wasn't wholeheartedly excited about taking. I mean, networking seems to be the way to bring in money, but there was this resistance as I asked myself: Do I even actually want these cases? Also, I didn't like the idea of being disingenuous or inauthentic. Networking events seemed to be a place where people would just be posturing, talking about how great they are, and really just asking other people for business. That's not how I ever operated. Plus, there was no handbook or guide on how to network. I found networking events to feel transactional, forced, and like a necessary evil.

Through my career path out of the law and through different opportunities, I found that when you do something that you love and resonates with who you are, you are actually excited to talk about it. And that excitement and authenticity clearly come through, and it's contagious. I've come to realize that network isn't at all about impressing people, it's about getting to know them. Instead of wondering: What can I get from this person? Ask: What can I learn from them? Cultivating real relationships feels way more natural to me. I love hearing people talk about what lights them up, how their career adds to their life, and what it means to them. When you are simply getting to know people, asking honest questions about who they are and what they are passionate about, it doesn't feel like networking. Why did I dislike and avoid networking? I'm speaking from the heart, here.

I think the main reason over the years I avoided networking is because I wasn't in a field where I reflected who I am and my values. It was hard to promote myself as a lawyer to get cases that I wasn't wholeheartedly excited about taking. I mean, networking seems to be the way to bring in money, but there was this resistance as I asked myself: Do I even actually want these cases? Also, I didn't like the idea of being disingenuous or inauthentic. Networking events seemed to be a place where people would just be posturing, talking about how great they are, and really just asking other people for business. That's not how I ever operated. Plus, there was no handbook or guide on how to network. I found networking events to feel transactional, forced, and like a necessary evil.

Through my career path out of the law and through different opportunities, I found that when you do something that you love and resonates with who you are, you are actually excited to talk about it. And that excitement and authenticity clearly come through, and it's contagious. I've come to realize that network isn't at all about impressing people, it's about getting to know them. Instead of wondering: What can I get from this person? Ask: What can I learn from them? Cultivating real relationships feels way more natural to me. I love hearing people talk about what lights them up, how their career adds to their life, and what it means to them. When you are simply getting to know people, asking honest questions about who they are and what they are passionate about, it doesn't feel like networking at all.

Establishing real relationships is what leads to Future opportunities. People will not only remember you, but they will remember how it felt to talk to you. We would all rather speak to someone who is actively engaged in what we are saying and wants the best for us. Those are the people that we want to promote, recommend, and refer to others! I have reframed the way I look at networking and changed my expectations for going to networking events. I look at them as an opportunity to meet new, interesting, creative people who I can learn from, and we can share our experiences. This takes the pressure off and allows me to just be myself. And isn't that always more fun?